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Secret Lovers
"I won't let you lay another finger on Naruto!"
The words Hinata spoke so firmly as the dust settled around her feet, Pein's feet screeching to a halt a few meters away.
"What're you doing here!!? Get out of here! You're no match--"
"I know" Hinata interrupted me, her abrupt answer shocking me briefly.
"I'm…just being selfish…"
What the hell could she be thinking? Was she TRYING to get killed?
"What're you talking about!? What're you doing here!? It's dangerous!!"
My words seemed to bounce right off her, the shy girl that had always stuttered whenever she spoke, had a look of dead seriousness about her.
"…" she seemed to be trying to say something to me…
"I'm here of my own free will." The determination in her words puzzled me, what was she thinking standing there staring at the monster who destroyed our village straight in the eye?
"…I used to always cry and give up…I nearly went the wrong way"
"But you…you showed me the right way…"
"…." Hinata what are you saying...? Drops of sweat rolling down my face as she spoke.
"I was always chasing you…wanting to overtake you…I just wanted to walk with you…"
She paused for a moment.
"I wanted to be with you…"
Her words sent a strange tingling throughout my entire body, making me forget for a moment the situation we were in. My eyes widening with every word she spoke.
"You changed me! Your smile saved me! So I'm not afraid to die protecting you!!"
What was this feeling in my chest…I could feel it tightening, and at the same time I felt light and numb…even though I could feel Pein's cold gaze looking our way.  I didn't know what to say; as she made another pause…all I could do was stare blankly at her back. No one had ever said something like that to me.

"Because I—"
"Love you…"
What did she just…?
As she softly spoke those final words, she dashed towards Pein unwavered by his imposing presence. And all I could do was stare in shock as I could barely understand what had just happened.
Her elegant jutsu dashing towards Pein, who had jumped back away from her attack just in time
A loud boom sent a shockwave through the whole area, with a loud and painful scream, that could only be Hinata's. My eyes widened in shock as I processed the scene that had just unfolded in front of me, Hinata was lying helplessly on the ground, a rather large mound of rock blocking my view. Desperately trying to catch a glimpse of her, hoping to see her jump away any second, my heart froze as I saw Pein materialize one of his chakra blades from his dark sleeve, pointing it downwards towards Hinata. Pein even took the time to look at me straight in the eye, his gaze darkening, as if trying to teach me a lesson with what was about to unfold. My stomach churned and tightened as I desperately tried to no avail to move even an inch.
"STOP!!!" was all I could yell out, as I watched him in horror
I froze, as I realized what the horrid sound was, echoing in my head, I stared at Pein dumbfounded, shocked.
"This is just like…how my parents were killed by Konoha ninjas, right before my very eyes…"
As he spoke, I watched in horror as blood poured out the cracks between the mounds of rocks that blocked my view. I could feel the rage inside of me build up, beginning to burst out in the form of the fox's chakra.
"Love breeds sacrifice…which breeds hatred…" His words shot through me like an arrow
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" I screamed as I felt the Kyuubi's chakra overtake my body.
My last thoughts…

I woke up suddenly, cold sweat trickling down my skin, breathing heavily after realizing what I had just dreamt about. So much had been going on lately; this was the first night I was able to sleep, only to be interrupted by memories of that day.  It's true that I needed to rest, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that I had neglected to say something to Hinata.
What should I say? What COULD I say?
None of it made any sense to me, feeling confused and uneasy. I've never been good with things like this, hell I couldn't even bring myself to stretch my hand out to Gaara after rescuing him from Akatsuki. But I just KNEW I had to talk to her, despite everything that was going on, I knew I wouldn't get another chance to for a long time, the fourth shinobi war had just broken out.  I got up instinctively, quickly getting dressed in the dark, tripping over the things in my new home. I felt slightly annoyed at the unknown floor I was stepping into, the villagers had been awful insistent on building me this new, bigger house, a small gift for saving the village they said. I felt rather bashful at the fact that they worked so hard to give me a new home, it was way bigger compared to my old apartment, with the words: "Konoha's hero" inscribed above the entrance. I still couldn't get used to the idea of people asking for autographs and treating me like I was already Hokage, some villagers had even taken up calling me "Uzumaki-sama" for crying out loud! And this place still felt strange and alien-like to me, not because it was different than my old apartment, I was actually glad to have a bigger place, but it still felt as if…the place was too big and too important for someone like me.
Agh, what are you doing!? You should be thinking about what to say to Hinata!
I kept repeating her words over and over in my head, unable to figure out what to say to those words. I mean…I've had a crush on Sakura for the longest time…but…was that even true anymore? It's been a while since I've tried to ask her on a date, or even thought about it for that matter. I had also been rather annoyed at her sudden "confession", I may be slow, but it didn't take a Nara to realize she was lying to me. Truth be told…I felt nothing but anger when Sakura spoke those words I had fantasized about hearing so many times, I know Sakura far too well to fall for that. I guess I really didn't like her as much as I thought I did, or at least in the way I thought, or maybe I had just accepted that she loved Sasuke, not me. And ever since Hinata saved me, I couldn't stop thinking about her; I couldn't look at her for more than a few seconds before blushing.
ME? Blushing?
I didn't know what to say, but I just know I HAD to talk to her right away. I stumbled around my new and scarcely furnished living room looking for my sandals, eventually finding them and zipping them half way up, I'm pretty sure I put them on backwards…
Hey Hinata! So um about you loving me! He he…
No no no what are you thinking Naruto! You can't just look for her in the middle of the night to try and talk casual to her! I felt unbearably guilty knowing that I had been avoiding her ever since I came back. We had been there standing in front of each other when all of the Konoha 11 had gathered to talk about what happened with Sasuke and Danzo. What had come over me? I saved all of Konoha, I became almost as strong as the fourth ho-…I mean….dad….but I couldn't talk to a girl? A girl who already admitted to LOVING me? As I paced nervously around the room, I decided that I couldn't continue wondering what to say, I just HAD to see her first, so I opened the window and jumped out.
Hey baby, it's not my fault I fell in love. You're the one that tripped me.
Aagh now I was sounding like Ero-sennin! Get a grip Naruto! I could feel my heartbeat increasing with every hop I made from rooftop to rooftop as I ran towards the newly built Hyuuga complex. I sat down a few rooftops away while looking at the Hyuuga household, activating sage mode so I could find out which room was Hinata's; the last thing I wanted was Konoha's #1 Hokage candidate being found out afterhours lurking in the Hyuuga residence. I know Neji would kill me if he found me…or even worse…Hinata's creepy dad!
Found her!
Great…now what?
As I forced myself up, I nervously leapt towards the building standing in front of me, getting more and more nervous my mind going completely numb.
I finally reached her window, lucky for me it was open just slightly, and I had to be real careful or I'd be found out….damn byakugan.
"Hi-hinata...?" I whispered softly into the dark room, I felt so stupid, she probably didn't even hear me!
"Hi-hinata-chan…are you awake?" I whispered a bit louder as I crept into the room silently.
"Eep!" a tiny squeak came from inside the room
Yeah, she's awake now.
"Na-naruto-kun…?" she whispered back with her soft voice
"Y-yeah…it's me…um…I was wondering if we could uh…talk?"
Man why did I have to start stuttering! She probably thinks I'm a dork!
"Um…r-right now…?"
"Uh…well…yeah 'cause um…I had a feeling we...won't get another chance for a while…"
"M-mind if I….if I come in?"
"Eep! Um…s-s-sure….c-come on in…"
As I walked in to her room I caught the scent of what could only be described as a "girl's room", I could so get used to this scent.
Man what are you thinking?!
After my little mental outbreak, I tripped over my own feet into her room and down to her floor.
Nice, if you didn't look dorky before, now you look like a dumbass…
"Na-naruto-kun! A-are you ok?"
"Oh um…y-yeah…I just tripped…"
Then I realized….i hadn't even been able to look up at her, I was staring at the floor, sitting there where I fell. I gripped on my own clothes, trying to find the courage to speak out as the images of Pein hurting her flashed over and over inside my head.
"Naruto-kun…are you feeling alright?"
"Hinata-chan I…I was very worried about you…"
"Oh…I'm a-alright N-naruto-kun…"
"How could you do that to me? You jump in like that when you KNEW you were about to get killed saying the things you said!"
Shit am I raising my voice too much?
"N-naruto-kun i….I'm so-"
"I mean what were you thinking?! Saying something like THAT at that moment!"
Hinata's expression changed at that time, from the red blush I caught a tiny glimpse of as I fell into her room, to an expression of sadness, looking down and away from me.
That very instant I did something I did NOT expect to do…I quickly hugged her as hard as I could as tears began running down my cheeks, the way her body went stiff just told me how shocked she was at my sudden affection.
"Cause fuck…you were the first person to say 'I love you' to me…and then you just went and damn near took it away from me…"
Yet another shock…I wasn't expecting to say something like THAT!
"N-naruto-kun…" she uttered, was she breathing…?
I began crying uncontrollably against her shoulder, the sweet aroma of her hair pressed up against my nose.
Agh…I'm getting her clothes dirty with my crying!
I quickly pulled away hiding my face from her gaze, trying to clean my face with my sleeve before she could see me. She looked at me shyly from between the fringes of her hair, as if trying to comfort me with her kind gaze.
"N-naruto-kun…I'm sorry for worrying you…but what I said r-remains true…I was sure I was going to die…but I didn't care…as long as I... as I d-did it for you"
She barely even stuttered that time!
"Don't ever do that again…I thought I had lost you as soon as I found you…" I muttered with a pout
Just what in the world was I saying?!
She fell silent.
"How long…"
It was like my mouth had a mind of its own
"H-how long…what?"
"How long have you felt this way….about me…?"
A short silence filled the room again.
"Ever since I first met you…in the academy …"
Again that strange surge of tingling plowing through my body
"I had always felt so weak…so useless…but seeing you work so hard every single day…despite the way everyone else treated you…I just couldn't stay away from you…you inspired me…you became my hero…"
As she spoke those final words, tears came running down her face, she looked down gripping on her pajamas lightly.
I don't know what came over me, but my hands slowly moved towards her, taking her own, and holding them tightly.
Her shock was more than apparent; I could feel her freezing up, tensing as she felt my hands taking hold of hers.
"You have…ALWAYS felt this way about me?"
"Y-yeah…" The bright red blush was back in her face
I myself was beyond shocked….i couldn't feel my own body moving, and I'm pretty sure I was trembling when I took her hands.
"I'm sorry Hinata-chan…"
Her eyes that had been fixated on our joined hands, suddenly looked away in sadness, as if she had feared I would say something like that.
"I-I understand N-naruto-kun…I never expected you t-"
"I'm sorry for being so stupid…" I interrupted
My words shocked her, as she raised her face suddenly to stare blankly at me
"W-why would you say that…?"
"Because…I was too stupid to realize how you felt…I've always been slow…and I'm not very good with these things…so I'm sorry…that I never noticed the way you felt…"
"Oh N-naruto-kun…"
"I was so busy trying to get everyone to acknowledge me…that I forgot to look for someone who already did…"
I made a pause, which must've felt like an eternity to her, since I could see her biting her lower lip.
"I…I have been trying to figure out what to say to you ever since I came back from the land of iron, I would be lying if I told you I haven't been thinking about what you said…"
Agh…you're being vague!
"Hinata-chan I…I honestly came here not knowing what to say…I mean…I always felt so lonely before…and yet you were always there…"
Tch…I'm rambling…what the hell should I say!? She must think I'm an idiot right now…
"Naruto-kun…" she spoke softly as if trying to reassure me that she wasn't judging me, was she reading my thoughts?
I raised my head shyly to look into her eyes, her pale violet eyes staring right back at me. I felt a sudden blush fill my cheeks, what was going on with me?
"Truth is…I haven't been able to stop thinking about what happened…it scared me and it hurts to remember you being hurt like that…as a matter of fact I decided to come here so suddenly because I even dreamt about it…"
Hinata gasped in surprise, she really didn't expect any of this
"I'm…I'm not used to people saying things like that to me…I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to even feel…and it's still strange to have people calling me the 'miracle boy', and giving me gifts. Even Sakura-chan came all the way to the land of iron to confess to me!"
"S-sakura-san…?" Hinata had a sudden look of anguish in her face, staring idly at me with what seemed to be disbelief
Uh-oh…I shouldn't have said that last thing…
"I see…" Hinata tried to hide her tears with her sleeve, pulling her hands away from mine.
"Hi-hinata-chan wait…ugh….i shouldn't have said that….i'm just too stupid for these things…"
Hinata moved away from me, staring sadly at the floor beside her.
"She was lying…she was trying to get me to stop chasing after Sasuke…I know her too well, I know she loves Sasuke…so I turned her down"
Once again Hinata froze up with shock, was she doing as badly in her head as I was?
"Her 'confession' made me realize that…I hadn't thought about Sakura-chan that way in a long time…I have been so focused on getting Sasuke back, that I hadn't realized I stopped trying to get her to like me…"
I moved in closer to her, my heart racing insanely inside my chest, I felt like I was about to pass out.
"At the same time I realized that I um…I couldn't stop thinking about you ever since…Pein, I had been so worried about you…and…I started getting nervous around you…"
"Hinata-chan….i can't pretend to understand the things I'm feeling…I honestly don't know WHAT I'm feeling…but…I just didn't want to lose this chance to tell you that….I…"
Hinata was staring intently at me, her jaw half-open as I tried to finish my sentence
"I…I think that I might like you…"
Hinata just froze there, staring at me as the biggest blush I've ever seen crept up her face.
…Is she about to…?
Right on cue…Hinata fainted, and before she fell over I caught her, unable to stop staring at her face.
Man she looks so pretty like that…
As I held her in my arms…I could feel her heartbeat against my chest, her soft breathing, I never knew she looked so beautiful.
Wait what? Did I just think the word 'beautiful'?
As I stared wide eyed at her, I could feel my body go numb with a tingling sensation I had never felt before. My whole body felt as if it was burning up, I could feel myself blushing, I could HEAR the blood rushing in my ears.
Oh man…look at her lips…
As I felt the tingling sending goose-bumps down my skin, I began to give in to the sudden urges I was feeling.
Maybe if I just…
My face began moving closer to hers, I could feel her breath, every single exhalation sending tingling sensations down my spine.
"Ngh…" She frowned a little bit, so cute…
As I realized she was coming to, I froze up looking at her intensely.
"Eep!" she quickly realized I was holding her too close and she pulled away from me blushing as brightly as before.
"Uh…uh….sorry H-hinata-chan! I mean I didn't…I wasn't…"
I instinctively looked away, bracing myself for the punch that was sure to come.
"…I-It's ok N-naruto-kun…"
I looked up in disbelief, looking at her with one eye open, still expecting her to at least smack me.
"I..I was j-just surprised…that's all…"
"Um…y-you….you're not angry…?" I stared at her completely surprised, she was holding her small hand to her mouth, blushing intensely, looking so unbearably adorable.
Huh? Why am I thinking this way?
"I c-could n-never be angry at you N-naruto-kun…" she said softly as she looked away shyly
"heh heh…I guess that's a good thing!" I said while scratching the back of my head, smiling sheepishly, and for the first time that I can remember I saw her giggle…and smile.
An awkward silence filled the room.
"I'm really not any good at these things…but…I just wanted to tell you that…I'm really happy that I was an inspiration to one of the best ninja in Konoha…"
The words I spoke out so seriously shot through her, staring back into my eyes with her jaw half-way open, her small hand still over her mouth.
"Truth is…I always wanted someone to feel this way about me…I didn't get any affection because of THIS thing inside me…" I said as I grasped the clothes over my stomach.
Hinata looked sadly at me, with a bit of concern in her eyes.
"I never would have thought that…you felt this way, I guess I just assumed you didn't want anything to do with me like everyone else…"
"N-no! I w-would never feel that way ab-bout you Naruto-kun!" she said in an outburst
She took a moment to compose herself a little, and continued.
"I always felt the same way too…father always pushed me to be strong like the Hyuuga heiress was supposed to be…and being as weak as I was I could never live up to his expectations…until he just gave up on me…"
The words she spoke so sadly filled me with rage, and her now sad expression stared at me with amazement when she saw the anger in my face.
Who do these Hyuuga think they are?! Treating her like that!
"You're not weak Hinata-chan…you never have been!"
"Back when we were kids…you fought Neji with all your strength and you refused to give up! You refused to back down and run away…If you ask me…you're stronger than Neji"
Hinata gasped
"Neji was always blabbering on and on about fate this and fate that! He just accepted life as it was and he gave up…but you…you kept getting up, fighting with all your strength and ignoring all the crap he was saying"
My hands clenched into fists as I remembered those days
"Heh…and it's because of OUR nindo that Neji was finally able to change…"
"Y-you remember that N-naruto-kun…?" she asked while staring wide eyed at me, her eyes fixated on my own.
"Of course I do! We even talked about it the day I had to fight Neji…"
I stopped for a few moments, remembering that conversation, and how depressed I had felt before talking to Hinata.
Man I really should have noticed sooner!
"I guess I should have noticed how you felt when you told me how much I helped you change that day…" I said as I half-heartedly smiled at her, trying to bottle in my sudden sadness
"I just…I can't believe you have always felt this way about me…at first I thought maybe it was because I had become so strong and saved the village. I still can't get used to people actually liking me now…I guess I just…can't wrap my head around people liking me…"
As I confessed my feelings, she moved in closer to me, trying to take my hand with her small shivering one, finally taking hold of it.
"You have ALWAYS been strong Naruto-kun…you never give up no matter what…I always loved that about you…"
Her kind and loving words made me blush suddenly
"The whole village may be realizing it just now…b-but I always knew that you were the strongest in the academy…"
"H-hinata-chan…" I stuttered as her words stunned me, making my mind numb.
"Th-there's no one like you N-naruto-kun…always working your hardest trying to become even better…"
No longer capable of speaking, I stared at her so much that she squirmed self-consciously, yet my mind just wasn't able to process it at the time. I impulsively hugged her, my heart beating madly against her own chest. My body pulsating, feeling numb with excitement, I simply hugged her tightly without letting go. I could feel her shivering nervously between my arms, her own arms hanging motionless at her sides, almost like she couldn't believe the situation she was in.
"Na-na-naruto-kun!" she gasped out nervously
I held her close for what seemed an eternity, until I was finally able to formulate words.
"Thank you…Hinata-chan" I spoke softly almost in a whisper
As I spoke those words, it was as if she melted in my embrace, her body relaxing almost completely, her arms slowly crawling up and wrapping themselves around me so softly that I could barely tell she was hugging me back.
"If I…If I had known you felt this way from the start…I wouldn't have wasted so much time pulling pranks…"
Hinata's eyes began to well up with tears again
"I...I…c-couldn't…" she choked up as she gripped tighter on my clothes
"You couldn't…what?" I uttered softly as I held her close, trying to be as comforting as I could.
She gently cleared her throat, breathing in deeply before speaking again.
"I c-couldn't find th-the courage to tell you before…I-I'm s-sorr-"
"No…don't apologize Hinata-chan…" I interrupted
"I'm just wishing I had noticed back then…it's my fault for being so dumb heh heh" I said as I tried to smile against her shoulder, trying to hold back the tears that were building up in my eyes
I couldn't be sure, but I'm almost sure she pouted slightly against my shoulder.
"…you're not dumb Naruto-kun…you're m-my hero…"
People had been calling me that ever since I defeated Pein, but somehow every time Hinata said it tingles ran down my spine.
"Y-you mean that?" I asked nervously.
"Of course I d-do Naruto-kun…" she replied softly, burying her face in my shoulder
As we held each other like that, letting the moment sink in, I tried to control the sudden urge I felt to kiss her. The tingling feeling had settled in my stomach and my throat, as my breathing became much more agitated, I could tell she was getting nervous too, as she tried to hide her face in my jacket.
"I um…I really like…b-being your...hero" I said as I began pulling my head back, trying to get her to do the same. As she felt my body shifting, she raised her head so she could lock eyes with me.
"r-really…?" she asked nervously, her voice trembling so much she could barely speak.
As I answered I stared at her lips, getting closer and closer to them until our breath became mixed together. My heart began racing wildly, and I could feel hers against my chest. We began breathing heavily, our eyes only half-way closed staring at each other.  My whole body surged with feelings I had never had, a mix of excitement and anticipation building up inside me. I was scared to lean in, but at the same time I couldn't hold back any longer. I started moving closer to her, so slowly that I could barely tell if I was moving at all.
*Knock knock*
"Hinata-sama are you alright? I heard noises coming from your room"
"Eep!" Hinata squeaked in surprise as she recognized Neji's voice coming from the other side of the door.
"I'm coming in" He informed with that cold tone of his as I quickly moved toward the window.
Hinata closed her eyes tightly shut as if expecting a thunderstorm coming her way. As Neji inspected the room, he moved towards the window, closing it shut, and locking it.
"We're at war Hinata-sama, we cannot afford to be careless."
As Hinata realized I had left completely unnoticed, she gasped a sigh of relief, and then her tone changed drastically.
"I'm fine" she said in a quiet yet angered tone, which quite frankly frightened me more than Sakura, I could tell she was beyond furious.
She got up from where she had been sitting, her legs wobbling a little from sitting in the same position for too long.
"But-…" Neji muttered as he was being pushed out the room by Hinata
"I said I'm fine!" she hissed as she slammed the door in Neji's face, throwing the cutest tantrum I had ever seen while she turned around. She opened her eyes and stared at the spot I had been sitting in, her angered look disappearing completely as she took notice of the small note I had just planted a few moments ago.
"Sorry our talk was cut short! I promise to beat up Neji later 'ttebayo!"
I could hear Hinata giggle inside her room as she read the small note
"Good night Naruto-kun" she whispered softly
"Good night Hinata-chan" I answered back, before I jumped away from the Hyuuga compound.
I walked around Konoha losing all notion of time as I went over what just happened with Hinata, trying to make sense of the things I was feeling, but being unable to contain an odd excitement growing inside me.  I jumped from the rooftops to the street below, and began walking aimlessly around the village, staring at my feet as I walked with a smile on my face.
Why am I so happy? What's this warm feeling in my chest? What is this tingling sensation in my throat?
I caught myself smiling every time I thought about Hinata, squirming happily every time I thought about the conversation we had moments ago.
She really is cute…she always has been…I can't believe I hadn't noticed sooner.
"Heh…I guess I really do like her" I said to myself as I smiled with my eyes closed towards the warm feeling of the sun rising.
"…huh…sunny place…I really am slow"
With those final words I took a glimpse at the sun rise, smiling peacefully as I walked towards my own home.
The first chapter of my NaruHina fanfiction, it may not be the best, people may not like it. But I am thoroughly enjoying writing it, and I would very much appreciate comments and critique on my writing, I'm trying to "get back on the horse" on my writing. Also if anyone is wondering, Naruto's last words in this chapter are a reference to the meaning of Hinata's name: "sunny place"
basically he's realizing that she is becoming his "sunny place" get it?

If you don't like the pairing, that's ok, just don't flame around here, I won't tolerate any bashing of my work or the characters just because you don't like the pairing or Hinata or just Naruto.

Chapter 1: ---
Chapter 2 (PDF version)
Chapter 3

The image belongs to the amazingly talented :iconquiss: [link]
go check out her gallery! she's amazing!

Naruto and Hinata and any other Naruto characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto (c)
Story belongs to me (c)

Edit:I have uploaded a PDF version to my, for better reading.

I would like to point out that this girl here :iconmini-misty224: is my editor, she is responsible for quality control of this story, and she has written and re-written many parts and dialogues of this story. Without her, Secret Lovers would NOT be what it is. give her much love
Add a Comment:
ninjasSadness Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2016
socorro333 Featured By Owner May 30, 2014
eeee!! this was soo good!! i can't wait to read the next chapters!! <333
Liby51 Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
AHH! This is SO GOOD! I couldn't stop reading I was so interested on what was going to happen next. I LOVED IT! :)
mininalover Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014  Student Writer
i love you, thanks for this fanfic
FairskyAngel Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Omg so freaking adoreable and cute and sweet and.. *sigh* If only it had already happend in the manga!! Heart 
Such a good fanfic! one of the best I've read so far! Definately in my top 3 :happybounce: 
Flaming-Ghurkin Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014
This is one of the best fanfic's I've ever read. It's at least in my top 5.
JecOlantern Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
asdfghjkl :iconlazypoolplz:
AmyTsuku Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Best NaruHina story I've red so far ;) I really like how you build up the tension and make us all go, "GOD NO! WHY NEJI?!" and that's really wonderful ;) Besides that I think you wrote the thoughts and feelings wonderful. It was good English but not to dificult to understand for people like me, who don't speak Enlish ;p
So I want to say thank you for the wonderful fanfiction. Keep on writing!
Mangaimouto-chan Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
clouds2daydreams Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013
i love this.
naruhinalover3 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Soooooooo cutttttteeeee :iconblushingplz:
Reikajoy Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013
soooooo kawaiiii!! one of the best NaruHina stories! no doubt! love it sooo muuuch!! :D
lonelysoul10 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist
Soooooo cuuuteeeee!!!!!! Love it !!!!!!!
sonallyfanforever Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Aaaaaawwwwwwwwww :-):-):-):-):-):-D:-D:-D<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 its the best;-)
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Student Digital Artist
th-thanks :iconblushplz:
sonallyfanforever Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
NaruHina-Sammie Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this! One of the best out there! :D
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Wow thanks a lot, that really means a lot! :iconarigatouplz:
Magic-Waffles Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
AMAZING!!! :heart: One of the best NaruHina stories I've ever read, and I've read a lot of NaruHina stories! :D
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student Digital Artist
wow thank you! :iconbrohugplz:
Magic-Waffles Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
No prob! :tighthug:
tazarasei9 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
JUST AMAZING sobeautifuly peaced together i admire your writing it just flows wonderfully
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Student Digital Artist
why thank you so much! i'm glad you like the story that much :)
kurino-sama-alpha Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012
that sounded seriously legit. like i could actually see it happen in the anime. stupendous job my friend!!!
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Student Digital Artist
thank you very much! :iconarigatouplz:
K1NGK4ZM48888 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012
I heard a lot but this it he best by far
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012  Student Digital Artist
thank you! you make me blush :iconblushplz:
K1NGK4ZM48888 Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012
Like hinata ?
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Student Digital Artist
lol! :iconderpfaceplz:
SasuSakku-Love Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2012
I loove it :D
RoseAndTheGun94 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey baby its not my fault i fell in love, you tripped me Lmfao CLASSIC
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2012  Student Digital Artist
haha yeah i know a couple of bad pick-up lines xD
narujordanna Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i love it
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2012  Student Digital Artist
i love that you love it :)
narujordanna Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Katangaroo Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2012  Student General Artist
i think you skipped the EPIC CRAWLING of DETERMINATION from the pain fight after Hinata got thrown, but i guess it would be unnecessary torture to put that in, right?

i've heard alternate translations of Hinata's name and that it could also mean "a place in the sun" which I like because it's like it says Hinata has a place in Naruto's heart (Naruto = sun).

you are a writing mastermind. i would NOT want go against you in a game of shougi. i feel i'd be at a strong disadvantage! (and not just because i don't know how to play it)
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Yes I skipped that because I disregard the anime almost completely, because the anime takes too many liberties in the story. I used the story directly from the manga, and in the manga there is no epic crawling, sadly.

I'm japanese homegirl haha, and i can tell you that translating from japanese to english is funky business. Because japanese is much simpler than english, what we say in japanese can be translated in a million different ways in english. And I've only ever seen her name written in katakana (ヒナタ) which means her name is just "hinata" and doesn't have a single translation

haha and its ok i suck at shougi, grandfather always beats me...
Katangaroo Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2012  Student General Artist
cool 8-)

i wish i knew japanese =(
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2012  Student Digital Artist
well start studying! :D
Japanese is very easy to learn, the hard part is learning to write kanji (the more complex looking symbols)
There's a lot of ways to learn online, and a crappola of books to use like "minna no nihongo"
Katangaroo Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2012  Student General Artist
eh too lazy, maybe after Russian
i have a list!
english - got it
Spanish - two years, and you'd think i would have
german - 6 sentences down...
Russian - soon... very soon...

i'll just add japanese right THERE under Russian!
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Hablar español no es tan difí hecho es mas fácil aprender Japonés cuando hablas español.
Katangaroo Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2012  Student General Artist
:| ...
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2012  Student Digital Artist
3 lol
1st - Español, 日本語
2nd - English
(1 Reply)
Number1HinataFan2 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
OH MY GOATS?!?!?!?! WHY WOULD PEOPLE NOT LOVE THIS!?!?!?! Its one of the most amazing things ive ever read!!!!!!!!!! It got my heart beating and reminded me the feeling of whenever im around or talking to the guy i REALLY like!!!!
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2012  Student Digital Artist
My my thank you very much! I'm very happy to hear I managed to make someone feel exactly what I wrote into it! :iconiloveyouplz:
This whole story is based off my first love which was very "NaruHina". I'm flattered you like it so much, and that's the best feeling....ever :iconbarfrainbowplz:
Number1HinataFan2 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Your so welcome!!!
VixenTFox Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2012
urqyhweipury-q239urjh w;qkoej[askfja'slkdfj0[j ]fajksf0[i23uj [f :iconlovelaplz:

OMK! I love this! You did an amazing job! Everything is so in character. I mean even when stupid Neji had to interrupt their moment, Hinata's anger was IC. I can see her getting fierce and mad when she needs to. :nod:

What I'd like to see is Neji coming to Naruto for love advice... like that would ever happen. :iconlaughingplz:
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2012  Student Digital Artist
haha I'm silly like that I guess, and C. you should be flattered hah
I'm glad I made you laugh (did i?)

And did chapter 3 work already? I just investigated a bit and it seems like it may be an issue with your PDF viewing plug-in for firefox (Same with me for chrome).
apparently it's easier to just open the PDF on adobe acrobat or a similar PDF program you may have. You could also just try clicking "download" :)
Hope this helps too!
VixenTFox Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2012
Yeah I ended up doing that. I don't know why chapter 3 is not working when 1 and 2 are.
Kyoshi-M Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2012  Student Digital Artist
check your pdf plug-ins, it's probably the problem :/
but i am glad you were able to read it and i hope you enjoyed it! :D
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Submitted on
May 11, 2011
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